Tips For Dealing With A Family Member Who Has Written Their Own Eulogy

While it's common for someone to write a eulogy that honors the life of a deceased family member, this isn't always the case. Some people will occasionally ask to write their own eulogies if they know they're ill and will soon pass, and such individuals will ask for someone to read these remarks during the funeral service. This scenario can work satisfactorily, and you should always endeavor to honor the person's wishes. However, there can also be some challenges to this situation. Here are some tips on how to effectively deal with a eulogy that the deceased person previously wrote.

Check The Content

Carefully scanning the content is important before someone delivers this eulogy. You may encounter a situation in which the deceased person has included elements in the eulogy that aren't appropriate. For example, perhaps they have taken the opportunity to criticize a former spouse or a family member. While you might want to have someone read the eulogy verbatim to honor the deceased person, you have to understand that such content could also lead to some contention at the funeral service and afterward. Don't be afraid to edit out any content of this nature.

Decide Who Is The Best To Deliver It

Sometimes, the person who has written his or her own eulogy will ask that a certain family member delivers these remarks. If the person hasn't made this clear, the immediate family member will need to decide. There may be many viable candidates, and you should consider asking the family if a certain individual has a strong desire to read the eulogy. Otherwise, you can collectively choose someone for this important duty. When the person takes the podium at the funeral home, he or she should indicate that the deceased person wrote the eulogy. Doing so will avoid any confusion from attendees who may think that the person speaking was also the writer.

Involve People In Other Ways

You may hear about a family member or close friend who expresses disappointment over not being able to eulogize the deceased. When a person writes his or her own eulogy, it means that someone who might be a likely candidate to write and deliver these remarks gets usurped. Keep in mind that you can be flexible here. There's nothing wrong with having two eulogies, so feel free to invite the other person to prepare a speech, too. If this isn't appropriate, look to honor any other close family members by having them serve as pallbearers or ask them to read scripture verses.